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Why suffer through another Broken heart Take the guess work out of Dating after Divorce

Dating after Divorce Recipe....Ingredient #1

Are you feeling like it just might be time to try and date again after the divorce?

Have you found yourself in Wal-mart noticing a good looking man or woman?

Do you feel like you have come to a peace about what happened in your marriage?

If you answered yes to these questions then, it is time for you to start dating after your divorce. But before you run out to the local bar or singles dance, let’s do a little planning. To make any fabulous meal, you need a great recipe. And the recipe is only as good as the ingredients you put in it. So let’s work on your ingredients to start with.

Ingredient #1

Make a list of 20 things you want in a man or woman

Does this list look a lot like all the things you hated about your ex? Or all the things you begged your ex to do but would never do? If it does, then you are on the right track. See to begin dating after divorce you need to have a dream. That list is your dream. I know you don’t want to go back to the life you just left.

Take this list and put it in a file in your computer under the dream folder. Or if you wrote this list, hide it in your dresser. But understand, you just wrote your first ingredient of you dating after divorce recipe.

To help you understand how important this list can be in your dating after divorce recipe is a little story to help see the importance.

Heidi meets a nice guy while out with friends at the local bar. They dance have a few drinks and then the guy asks her to have supper with him next week. Heidi says, “Yes.” I would love to. So the courtship began. Over the next 6 months, Heidi falls madly in love with the man. She is also starting to think she wants to have a future with this man. She has even starting to think he is the one.

One day while on her computer Heidi finds her list. She reads the list, and then she reads it again. Warning bells start going off in her head. He does not fit the list at all. Come to think of it, he is a lot like her Ex. She says to herself, “What am I doing? How could this happen?

This little story happens many times to people who start dating after divorce. It happens more times than anyone wants to admit. And if you just started dating after your divorce you are telling yourself that will never happen to me. Well I hope it doesn’t, but if this little dating after divorce story hits a little close to home, don’t feel bad. Just understand the people we choose to date after divorce are people we are comfortable with. You know how these people operate, it is comfortable to you.

So take a step back, read your first ingredient of your Dating after Divorce Recipe, remember your dream, and do not settle for anything less. You do deserve happiness.

Ingredient #2

The second dating after divorce ingredient is a book I found extremely effective in changing how I went about dating after divorce. I know you are thinking a book really can’t make that big of difference. Well actually it made a huge difference. I had struggles through the first year of being single. I dated a few people, but it seemed so hard and not fun. Then one evening while checking my Facebook, a little ad popped up and so I clicked on is. The next thing I knew, I was downloading “Dating without Drama” written by Paige Parker. It is an eBook you download to your computer and your on your way to changing your life in minutes. This book changed how I was dating after my divorce. I thought it can’t be that hard to date after divorce, well let me tell you it was not that easy.

If you are a kind of take charge person dating after divorce can be very frustrating for you. If you like to make plans, take charge and move on with life, you have to rethink this approach. Guys really don’t like this. They like to be in charge. And especially in the beginning of the relationship, you have to let them lead the way. (See Chapter 4, page 49) This actually does two things you don’t realize in the beginning.

1. If a guy really likes you, he will make it a point to see you again. You don’t have to do a thing. Just sit back and let him take charge.

2. If he is not calling, then you need to move on to the next one. Don’t make excuses for him. Do not sit around waiting for them to figure out if they want to go out with you again.

Ingredients for your dating after divorce recipe is a process that will work for you, but you have to make it a priority to know what you need to do before you even start dating. But fear not, if you have been out there and it is not working for you, don’t think you will never find the person for you, just understand you are going to have to change how you are dating. And let’s be honest, it is not working anyway, so why not give this a try.

Paige,

Just to let you know that I was in deep despair this morning, but by 3 o'clock having read your book I am a new woman, most of my mistakes you uncovered!!!

Great book and I have recommended it to my friends already!!!

Well done!!
-Sara, Kansas City, MO

Ok guys, if you read this, you know that us women struggle just like you do with dating after divorce, so if you find that after the first date your really not attracted, don’t call. We are going to make it easy on you. If you don’t call in 3 days, we are going to move on. Is that a fair statement? I think so, with today’s technology being in contact with someone is not that difficult if you want it. So guys the lead is all yours.

The first ingredient to your dating after divorce recipe is to make the list of the perfect guy. And the second ingredient to your dating after divorce recipe is the book “Dating without Drama”

Ingredient #3

1. So you have made you list—What I want in a relationship
2. You have read the book—Dating without Drama

Now, it is time to see if you can put into practice, the first two ingredients in combination with the third.

The third ingredient in your dating after divorce recipe is to start putting your name out there. I am suggesting you do this through online dating to start. Many of you may think this is not for you. Or you may feel it is scary, but let me assure you, it can be a lot of fun, and it can be a huge confidence builder. I know, after a divorce your self-esteem is in the toilet. Some of us don’t want to even leave the house. So this idea gets your face in front of new people. It will help your confidence, and men/women really like confident people. Dating after divorce is hard, so here are a couple of things to make it a little easier for you to do before you join one of the sites.

1. Have a picture taken of yourself. Everyone has a camera phone now days. Have a friend take a photo of you. And please make sure you SMILE.

2. Make a short story of yourself. Don’t sound negative.

3. Make a little list of things you want in a relationship. (use a few items from ingredient #1)

4. Now come up with a username that is catchy or unique

Your dating after divorce recipe ingredient #3 has begun with the creation of your online profile. Please remember, this step or ingredient to your dating success, is not for you to find your next wife or husband, it is to get your feet wet in the dating world again. We are building your confidence. The following is a list of several online dating services for you to try; all of them do it a little bit different. Some match by personality, some on chemistry and some you tell them what you want. You need to choose which one of these you are comfortable with.

Match.com - Everyone knows someone who met on Match.com. Now it’s your turn. Search Now!

Find Singles in your area at Chemistry.com®

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Match.com 7-day Free Trial

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Dating after divorce can feel really weird so start small, get comfortable before you jump into the frying pan.

Online dating, did you ever think you would be entertaining this idea? Probably not, but you probably didn’t think you would get a divorce either.

Dating after Divorce Recipe…..Ingredient #4

You have made your list
You read the book Dating without Drama
You have talked with a few people online

Now it is Time………….

Let’s get you out in public with your new attitude.

So I want you to pick 5 places you go every week. You see dating after divorce should start with things and places you already know. Then it is not all so scary. So look around, here are some examples:

Work
Grocery Store
Wal-Mart
Kids sporting events
Church
Kid’s school functions
Coffee Store
Convenience Store

And I am sure you noticed I did not say a bar, well I know many people meet at bars and some work out. But if you want to avoid the meat market, it is simple, just don’t go there.

You see dating after divorce was different for me. I knew what I wanted, and I knew if I wanted someone who liked the same things as me, then I needed to be looking in the places those kind of people would be present. For example, if you are a person who likes college basketball go to the games. If you are going to all your kids’ events, take a look around it is another great place.

But the key to all of these places it to be approachable. You need to smile, be pleasant, dress nice. And be observant, if you see a mom with her kids and you like how she is handling them, approach her and tell her. Starting a conversation with a person you don’t know, is easy with a complement. If you are a woman, and you see a man who has qualities you like, it is ok to tell him. Understanding kind words will open a closed heart, and the first obstacle to finding someone is those first words.

Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. You are an awesome person, and you will make someone the best partner in the world. So the choice to date after divorce is just the beginning, because you deserve happiness just as much as the next person.

Your dating after divorce recipe ingredient number 4 is to get yourself out in the public, but in the best places to find someone who has things in common with you. Have fun and remember to smile it shows you are happy and approachable. Let me know how your dating after divorce is going.........

Here is a link to a test to see if you and your boyfriend are compatible. The Character of Partner